Zodiac bites: Your sign’s perfect restaurant match

Umbrellas adorn the ceiling at Lucky Lotus, which any Aries would appreciate. (Photo: Duane Tinkey)

By Karla Walsh

Whether you swear by your star sign or just blame Mercury for your bad days, there’s something undeniably appealing about astrology. Supposedly, our signs influence how we approach the world — where we go, who we get along with and what sparks joy.

And if there’s one thing we know sparks joy around here, it’s food. Based on the enthusiastic appetite for dsm Dish each week, I figured I wasn’t the only one wondering: What if your next favorite restaurant is written in the stars?

To find out, I enlisted the help of two local astrology experts — Heather Ann Roe of KIN DSM and Kindred Auras, and Samantha Seifried of Planted Wellness Spa — to match each zodiac sign with a local restaurant.

Aries (March 21 to April 19): Lucky Lotus

Folks with this sign are “known for taking risks and always up for a challenge,” according to Seifried. They gravitate toward spicy cuisine and vibrant colors and will likely fall for Lucky Lotus as soon as they step inside, where rainbow-hued umbrellas adorn the ceiling. At the counter, try pushing the boundaries by ordering the pad thai or nam khao crispy rice salad with spice level 5, described on the menu as “breathing fire.”

Taurus (April 20 to May 20): Bubba

Ruled by Venus, Taurus is all about indulgence and comfort. They’re “the ultimate foodies of the zodiac signs,” Roe said. Considering their passion for comfort, luxury and indulgence, “it’s only right to choose a restaurant known for its flavorful Southern comfort food and desserts.” Bubba’s gingham, chandeliers and classic menu are just the ticket for a hungry Taurus. Shrimp and grits with a slice of whiskey pecan pie? Yes, please.

Gemini (May 21 to June 21): Cheese Bar

Geminis crave variety and love a good grazing station. Cheese Bar is renowned for its “Bubbles and Bites” happy hour and convivial communal tables, so it’s “the perfect place for a Gemini to have an intellectual conversation while enjoying the flavors and textures of each gratifying bite,” Seifried said. Geminis will likely jump at the chance to stimulate their minds and palates, nibbling from a deluxe smorgasbord of meats, cheeses, terrines and accoutrements.

Cancer (June 22 to July 22): Clyde’s Fine Diner

Homebody Cancers might prefer a cozy kitchen, but they’ll come out for the nostalgic comfort of burgers, sandwiches and ice cream. Clyde’s checks all those boxes and gives as much TLC to their burgers and fries as to their more upscale duck with polenta, braised cabbage and honey mustard jus. “This water sign connects to their mental and emotional state far more than the average zodiac sign,” Roe added, “so they’ll enjoy a space where each meal is made with love.”

Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22): Oak Park

Leos live large and will always say “yes” to fine dining. “They want the full experience: good lighting, a luxurious setting and an attention-grabbing entree,” Roe said. They’re natural leaders and don’t shy away from the spotlight, just like Oak Park, which just earned a spot on USA Today’s Best Restaurants list. A Leo would roar for a round of caviar cones, a bone-in rib-eye with bone marrow butter and fried bread pudding with vanilla ice cream and cherry compote.

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22): Wasabi

Virgos appreciate precision and elegance, especially when it comes to food. They enjoy “learning about the process of what goes into making an immaculate plate of food,” Seifried said. So they’ll want to peek over to the sushi bar at any of the Wasabi locations around town, where chefs prepare sushi that appeals to a Virgo’s “practical and health-conscious side,” Seifried said. “They also prefer foods that are easy to digest rather than feeling overly full.” The Protein Roll is a clean and colorful  combo that’s satisfies without being heavy.

Libra (Sept. 23 to Oct. 23): The Contrary

Libras thrive in social settings and love a stylish atmosphere. At the Contrary, they can sink into the velvet couch or pull up a stool at the bar, where the vibes are as cool as the cocktails. “The Contrary matches the vibe of a Libra with its social ambience, Instagrammable presentation and easily shared plates,” Roe said. “It’s a place where they can experience beauty in the visuals, the aromas and the flavors.” Start with a platter of hummus and fruit, then flip through the photo menu to snack your way through the evening.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 to Nov. 21): Christopher’s

Scorpios love a little mystery — and a lot of flavor. “They prefer hidden gems within the city that only a true local would know,” Seifried said. Tucked in Beaverdale, Christopher’s is dark, cozy and full of regulars, with an Italian-American menu and plenty of supper-club character. A Cedar Ridge Old-Fashioned alongside the fettuccine Gorgonzola with beef tenderloin? Dark, intense, and very Scorpio.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21): The Green Olive

Sagittarians are always chasing new experiences — and global eats fit right in. “Mediterranean cuisine is ideal for a Sagittarius, with its bright colors and tangy spices,” Roe said. The Green Olive’s menu offers a culinary adventure across the 22 countries with Mediterranean coastline via a “meal that is not going to weigh them down, but rather energizes their aura and day,” Roe explained. First-timers should try platter No. 19 for an energizing feast of kabobs, kofta, falafel, dolmas and warm pita.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19): Skip’s

Capricorns are practical, grounded and quietly luxurious. They’re “the most ‘meat-and-potatoes’ of all signs,” Seifried said. They tend to prefer hearty classics like steak, roasts, stews and pasta, which you can find at Skip’s on the south side. It hits the spot with a warm and intimate ambience, friendly staff and reliable food. Order the steak de Burgo, and enjoy the feeling of knowing exactly what you’re getting: excellence.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18): Panka

Aquarians love the unexpected. “They adore restaurants with lively and engaging atmospheres and are attracted to cuisines that veer outside the box,” Roe said. At Panka, the Peruvian place on Ingersoll Avenue, they’ll enjoy punchy flavors and vibrant dishes, along with live music on Wednesday nights. Try the ceviche or aji de gallina, a classic chicken dish from Lima, and soak up the offbeat cool.

Pisces (Feb. 19 to March 20): Harbinger

Pisces “is ruled by the planet of Neptune, which means they’re highly imaginative and dreamy,” Roe said. So they need a restaurant that feeds the soul and sparks the senses. Harbinger is a perfect match, with an inventive tasting menu that makes use of seasonal local ingredients. Whether they’re out on a date or a solo night of self-reflection, Pisces will find something magical here. As Roe put it, “The ambience of Harbinger offers a dopamine boost for them.”

Of course, if you’re feeling ambitious, you could visit each restaurant when its sign is ascendant. So what’s for dinner? Just ask the stars.