50 dates in 50 states

Adam and Debbie DeCamp celebrated one of their favorite 50 dates in Hawaii.

Writers: Ryne DeCamp and Montana Upchurch

On the morning of her 50th birthday, Debbie DeCamp stood atop a Hawaiian cliff overlooking the crashing waves. She’s often camera-shy, but the sun’s first rays melted away her hesitation as a photographer captured the moment she shared with her husband, Adam. It marked the dawn of a new decade and sparked a journey up mountains, through valleys and literally from sea to shining sea.

Ever since that October morning in 2023, Debbie and Adam DeCamp — to us, Mom and Dad — have been on an adventure that’s equal parts Travel Channel and Hallmark movie. They set out to share 50 dates in 50 states while at least one of them was 50 years old.

The goal was ambitious, if not slightly insane, and it was fun to follow along as they posted updates in the family group chat. We were often bombarded with photos from the latest leg of their meticulously planned itinerary.

We’ve always traveled with a purpose, whether it was with a collegiate softball team or the U.S. Navy. This time, Mom and Dad’s purpose was simply their devotion to each other.

It started as a joke, a sarcastic comment about the big five-oh that prompted a chat about places they’d like to see “someday.” They thought about flying to Australia or rebooking a Croatia trip that was scuttled by the pandemic, until Dad’s online research led him down a rabbit hole.

“I stumbled on a link titled something like ‘Places in Every State You Didn’t Know You Needed to Visit,’ and found the White Horse Tavern” in Newport, Rhode Island, he said. “I got to thinking about all the things people discussed in a 350-year-old tavern. I love history, so I was hooked.”

Click after click, Dad kept finding places to visit that were closer to home than Australia or Croatia. And soon enough, he suggested the 50/50/50 adventure. He did the math and determined they had a 21-month window, when at least one of them would be 50. A lucky bonus: That window included their 30th anniversary.

To win Mom over, Dad bundled the dates into three categories: stops, trips and vacations. A “stop” was a quick hit — a bite, a drink, a short hike — then back on the road. A “trip” included an overnight stay, and a “vacation” would entail at least three nights.

As Dad put it, “A date isn’t about how much you spend or how long you stay. It’s about devoting your time and attention to the other person.”

By now, we’re all used to Dad’s new ideas. His creativity is boundless, from home improvement projects that end with smoke alarms and colorful language to the time he asked Santa to give the family a universal remote control (because nothing says ‘I love my family’ like subjecting them to a battery-powered headache). Honestly, we were skeptical when we heard Dad’s first 50/50/50 pitch and unsurprised by Mom’s initial response: “No.”

“We have jobs,” she said. “We have a dog. I don’t see the point of going to Nebraska again.”

We’re not going to lie: It stung a little that we — her kids, her actual flesh and blood — didn’t cross her mind before the dog or her disdain for the Cornhusker State.

As the days went by, Dad’s enthusiasm and constant pitching began to win Mom over. He is persistent. She is both practical and a hopeless romantic, and to her, the idea began to seem less like a midlife crisis and more like a journey with the love of her life. And so, like the Hawaiian sunshine, Dad’s charm melted away her initial hesitation.

We knew that if anyone could pull this off, it was our parents.

Living in Iowa turned out to be a logistical advantage. From Des Moines, a third of the country is accessible by car in 10 hours or less, making spontaneous dates more feasible.

Maximizing time, distance and resources has meant skipping some destinations that would normally have been on their sightseeing list. Making memories was always their goal. “Sure, there are things I wish we’d done,” Mom said, “but we’ve shared so much, and we did it together. That’s what matters.”

Mom counts among her favorite experiences the trip to Hawaii, the cruise through Alaska, the Christmas tour of the Biltmore Estate in North Carolina and a chilly wade into Lake Michigan to gather Petoskey stones. She’s also a sucker for her favorite coffee, which they found in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Kansas. “Any date where we get Summer Moon is always going to be a bonus,” she said.

Dad has found joy in each date but with a slightly different perspective. “I like finding things we haven’t done and things we may never and probably would never do under different circumstances, and then doing them together,” he said. His favorite memories include Veteran’s Day at Arlington National Cemetery, New Year’s Eve in Times Square, and taking Mom to a Lower Broadway bar in Nashville. “I love Summer Moon, too,” he said, “and a fresh handcrafted cocktail.”

They’ve raved about the Wild Sage Bistro in Spokane, Washington, one of many local restaurants and watering holes they found, often with tips from Tripadvisor or Yelp. “We can go to a chain restaurant anytime and anywhere,” Mom said. “We always want to support the local communities we visit.”

They’ve also collected a Christmas ornament from each state — easy to pack, beautiful and as unique as each date. They’re now displayed in their home year-round, souvenirs of small towns and big cities, delicious meals, natural beauty and unforgettable people across the country.

As they check off the final states on their list this summer, they’re reminded how much they love each other and enjoy their time together. Even Nebraska, their 27th state, turned out to be a delightful surprise. They had coffee and cake at the Rabbit Hole, an “Alice in Wonderland”-themed bakery in Lincoln that reflected the whimsical spirit of their trip.

We’ll be the first to admit we were initially skeptical of the whole midlife milestone reimagined as a cross-country adventure. But as their 50/50/50 journey gained momentum and became a testament to their enduring love, we’ve proudly shared updates with friends and colleagues. Our parents are exceptional role models, and they’ve proven their love and sense of adventure are built to last, even after 50 years of life and 30 years of marriage. Their dates will wrap up this summer, but they’ll tell this story for years to come. And honestly, that’s just fine — as long as they save some travel energy for us and the grandkids.